strength of the absurd: November 2006

friendship

Forever demanding community
Whenever deprived, it ceases to become.

I thought I saw your eyes last night
In the fragments
Between thoughts of moments
An impending future (past)
With distant smile (almost half a grin)
I chronicled the moment
And turning, walked again.

as it was yesterday

Because today and tomorrow are lost within pages and assignments, I’ve decided to reminisce with a bit of yesterday (err, last year). Once again:

Dad,

Happy birthday! It’s interesting; this has always seemed like such a trite and meaningless salutation to me. What does it mean anyway? It’s not even a complete sentence... I suppose there are different levels of meaning and importance for everybody. For me, your birthday is the perfect chance to remember...to sit down and remember the best days of my life. Not only to remember; but also to be inspired, end even more; to be excited. I am beyond excited when thinking about the years to come.

Remember that old song by Tony Elenburg? It goes something like: “my fondest memory, as a little child, is that precious piece of my father’s time he gave to me.” It would be impossible to fully express the how true this statement is for me. I’ve just been going through some of the memories...there are so many! One recurring memory is that of sitting next to you while traveling; on the way to work, to the hospital, going south for vacations, to conferences, picking up trailers, learning to drive, going to Canada, driving to school in Virginia, etc... From the time that my legs dangled...till now, today, it’s always been the same; I have always learned something new. I love how predictable you are! Not only have you always talked, but you have always made me talk...made me think and made me feel.

The song goes on to say, “I want to be just like him, faithful and true, I want to be just like him, in everything I do.” I have a confession to make. When I was very little, living in the Lakeland house (I think), I used to sing this song when thinking about you. Although slightly embarrassing, it’s more than true! The first time I read a newspaper...I was bored to death…but continued reading because I wanted to be like you. I learned how to shave long before necessary... figured it out after watching you. Dad, you have been so many examples for me; father, judge, provider, hero, teacher, mentor, employer, friend, etc... Now, years later, although I read the newspaper out of interest and shave out of necessity, I still find myself wanting to be like you. I want to create a family, build businesses, to be a man of God, to be faithful and true...to be like you. Dad, you are a “giant in my eyes.”

While studying here in Madrid, I’ve done a lot of thinking and praying about the future. There are times when life seems ridiculously complicated and the future seems very fragile and distant. Amidst all the worries and struggles, I am always encouraged by the knowledge of a family that loves and cares about me. I’m so glad that we’ve been able to continue talking regularly...thank God for Google Talk! I can’t wait to be home for Christmas...I can’t wait to see your current projects take shape...I can’t wait until our next coffee run...I can’t wait for tomorrow—for everything. I miss and love you Dad. Happy Birthday!

now and always,

YOUR son