purity of selfishness?

It seems that I am a die hard and very predictable advocate of opposing view points. I’ve been called a "devils advocate" more than once. I hope this is not the case, that I am guided by something concrete, that I am only trying to better understand, and that it is not out of dissension that I (so often) question.

I’ve recently been reading a book on romantic love, by a well respected author. In this book, he describes romantic love as “that quality that moves a person to act for the benefit of another without respect to the advantage that it might bring to the one who expresses it…” There is (of course) a plethora of context surrounding this statement. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the author’s thoughts and intentions. Nevertheless, I think he says it wrong and I’m not so charitable as to let him get away with it. It’s my guess that the definition is very important to success or failure in relationships.

In my understanding, his definition is regularly (if not completely) inaccurate. I highly doubt (and hope it is not the case) that any two people are attracted to each other purely for the benefit of the other; without respect for the advantages to one’s self. When you loose the benefit you also loose the incentive to act.

Dating is, without question, the most common vehicle for modern relationships. I perceive dating to be a calculated chance for two people to win each other’s hearts. Almost anyone would accept this definition. So then, why would one individual want to win the heart of another? Hopefully it’s no shock, but humans don’t usually pursue romance simply for the benefit of another. This would be charity. Because of the other, yes….but not for the other. If a heart is won, it should always be done out of selfish intent. There is a “for him/her” but it is derived from the “for me.” Because a lover’s happiness is directly involved, they naturally want nothing less than the best for the object of their love.

Yes, love is a “sacrificial gift.” Further, it is a gift with many strings attached…and every string is an increase in its value. What about “the way of a man with a maiden?” Why do our knees grow week, why do we lose our minds, why do we court, and why do we love? I suppose these things could be defined as a sort of purity of selfishness.

The fact that a lover’s actions are performed out of selfishness is why they should be valued. This sort of selfishness is the clearest symbol of ones love, respect, and value for another. Love is a currency and if invested wisely it will reap endless benefits.

*this perspective is only possible within a Christian worldview*

the secret life of choices

Not an inch to spare, the escalators are teaming with people, as I wander down the empty stairs. Stopping to wonder where I am, I hear the vibrations of a hungry violinist somewhere in the distance. Realizing that I am also hungry, I sit and wonder why. I am tired and growing more so by the second…tired of chasing these circles in someone else’s brain…tired of being nowhere. I am living now…but somehow I can’t stop digging for memories of then. Yes, I am famished.

Morocco

Tenerife to Madrid to Toledo…and finally, this last weekend, I was in Morocco. I spent the weekend with two amazing guys: Kirk Whitworth and Russ Sandifer. Ten hours after meeting Kirk, at the Madrid airport, we were on a train to Algeciras. Our room was comprised of six miniature bunks and filled with four strange smelling Moroccan men. Although we got very little sleep, we did enjoy some much needed fellowship, while sitting in the conversion room between the train cars. The next morning we sailed past the rock of Gibraltar on our way to Tanger…Morocco! After landing in Tanger, we quickly found a hotel, took hot showers, Kirk twisted his ankle, and we went to the nearest train station to meet Russ. That evening we enjoyed African food, Cubin cigars, and American beds…Kirk made sure we had a good place to stay. We spent the next day wandering around the city, exploring the endless shops, bartering with the locals, and having many wonderful conversations. Due to some sort of honor system…the taxi drivers never admit to not knowing where something is…and thus we got lost a few times. Also, we missed our ferry back to Algeciras and similarly our train back to Madrid. After bribing the guys at the gate of another ferry, spending an extra night in Algeciras, and purchasing bus tickets back to Madrid, the three of us were finally on the road again. On the way, we enjoyed the beautiful countryside, had more good conversations and I listened to a very convicting sermon on Kirk’s ipod (I miss Grace Community!). Finally, this last evening of our time together, the three of us discovered the oldest restaurant in the world (allegedly frequented by people like Hemingway and Goya). Although the restaurant (El Rincon De Esteban) was very beautiful, we all agreed that the food and service were well below average. Happily, we made up for it afterwards with sangria and some tasty French dish that I forgot the name of. After spending that night in my flat…three in a bed (lol)…Kirk flew back to DC and Russ back to Casablanca. I’m all alone again….

This is, by far, the short version of some awesome and crazy adventures…I feel like such a blogger (sorry…I have an exam tomorrow). You guys are always on my mind and in my prayers…God bless.

surrogate for a dream

I’ve been reading Demons, by Dostoevsky, for the last few hours…and now it’s four in the morning. For those of you who haven’t read it, this book was inspired by a political murder that shocked Russia in 1869. Dostoevsky’s dark and enthralling novel takes a fighting stance against the materialism of his time. His insight into the human mind is brilliant and terrifying. As I’ve only just begun reading, I am so far unable to recommend the book. Thus far…it suffices to say that I am intrigued…and tired; I’m going to bed.

Top of the morning to you all!

throw a stone and watch the ripples flow…

Is it possible to plagiarize on today? If it is, then I think I will. I’ve just finished my morning coffee and am enjoying the world from my curb in Madrid. Holes in my jeans and an oversized sweater… If it weren’t for my computer, I’d be the perfect tramp. The world is beautiful…and life repeats itself. I’ve been here before.

Looking at yesterday I see so much of today. Nothing is meaningless… Thoughts, dreams, prayers, actions…every inch of past life has gone into creating today. Yesterday wasn’t perfect and tomorrow might not be better. But today, everything depends on today. Yes, I also “need today.”

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."